Saved, Single, and Satisfied…
Saved by Grace| Single by choice| Satisfied with God
It’s said that we are far and few, I think that we are just set apart.
So, what has the journey looked like for me?
As a young woman who is confidently walking out a saved, single and yes satisfied life I want to talk about it. I have enjoyed and still enjoying this time to soul search, explore, and learn new things. Often there’s a negative connotation around the idea of “singleness” in some cases as it is associated with being alone or boring (negative), people tend to think we are missing out on something and that we’ll be alone forever. There’s another perspective that one takes this time to take and focus on oneself (positive), fulfill dreams, and have some goals checked off before sharing life with someone. Along with the idea of a biological time clock and how it’s constantly ticking this is definitely real for some people. That’s not just my story, I am confident that because I have taken the time to validate myself in God it will surely be appreciate when the time comes.
Most of the questions I get consist of
Why are you single?
Is this by choice? Is it your religion?
How do you do it? (followed by it couldn’t be me)
So, you don’t date for fun?
The questions are never ending….
Now, like most girls as a child, I had the idea that I’d be happily married by age 25 with two children (twins) and the house with the fence. I’m not sure how we came up with these timelines but that’s not how it played out all at least for me. By the age of 25, I was not thinking about marriage or children, I was still figuring out who I was, what I wanted and how to get there. Boys were never at the forefront of my attention, and I just wasn’t interested or curious enough to start dating, also it was like an unspoken rule in our house as kids, there was no dating. The foundation of my upbringing had an impact on my own personal beliefs. Resulting in this fact, it has always been my choice, I have always had the mind to live my life for Christ, and that means living according to His Word and not of the world in every area. To me this looks like self-development, self-preservation, and intention. I have committed to being in covenant with God during this “single season” which allows me to focus on myself while I get to fully development my relationship with Christ and learn who I am in Him, learn about how he thinks of me, and his expectations for me as his daughter. To society this looks like I should be married by now or at least have a roster and some prospects; I do not! To some, I should be going stir crazy because I am not yet a mom and I’m not dating; I’m not! I am content in my posture of surrender in my walk with Christ.
It doesn’t have to be boring, nor does it have to be sad! The “FOMO” is something that society tries to push on you, girl this is YOUR time. I have never had that crazy urge to “need” to date or have someone on my side just to say someone is there, that hasn’t been my ministry I’m going to be honest. I have never understood why people feel the need to inquire about others romantic status, it’s not their business. In this season is where perspective comes into play, I am doing this for me and utilizing my time being of service to the Lord, serving in ministry, growing my relationship with Him, acknowledging my struggles, the necessary work. I like to think of it as my selfish season due to the fact that I am my top priority right now, I’m on a mission to learn all about me. Some may even equate single to lonely, that is not always the case. Self-discovery, wholeness, and peace are some things to be self-obtained before seeking them in someone outside of yourself.
My ability to live from the place of satisfaction is because I have made the decision to commit myself to the Lord. To seek Him in fullness and in truth so that I am confident in who He has called me to be, the work he has set before me, and to learn submission to Him first. Deepening this relationship with my father first will set up the foundation of my expectations of a spirit led Man of God. I can wait patiently because I know that there is someone that God specifically has waiting for me and while I am in preparation so is He. How much can I learn about myself, and how to be a person before a partner. My identity isn’t tied to someone else, and neither is my happiness, so I am able do the interpersonal work and be the best version of myself intentionally. There are things that I first want to accomplish before I add someone else to my life and that looks different for everyone.
Scriptures to meditate on: Psalms 27:14, Psalms 139:14, Jeremiah 29:11, Colossians 2:20